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"All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step."
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"You could just as well say that an agnostic is a deeply religious person with at least a rudimentary knowledge of human fallibility."

"God has forgiven and still forgives us when we repent from our sins, an indication that we are not called to sin, but to live in accordance with His will."

"Pious people spoke to God, and crazy people imagined that God spoke back."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."

"The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad."

"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380 SL convertible."

"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."

"Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have."
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