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Fred Allen

"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."

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"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."

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A.E. Samaan

"She looked out and saw a tall and comely woman beckoning to her. Susannah's first look at Mia in the flesh astounded her, because the chap's mother was *white.* Apparently Odetta-that-was now had a Caucasian side to her personality and how that must frost Detta Walker's racially sensitive butt!"

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A.E. Samaan

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"Believe me, you lose more than a gallon of fluids during a race. You could lose between six and 10 pounds during a race, depending on hot it is."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"I didn't miss the rat race, but I kinda missed the rats."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"There is nothing like race, is there?"

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A.E. Samaan

"Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists."

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A.E. Samaan

"On the field, blacks have been able to be super giants. But, once our playing days are over, this is the end of it and we go back to the back of the bus again."

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A.E. Samaan

"I don't know that the best way to approach it is to try and keep up. When you're doing that, you're setting yourself into a one-dimensional sort of race basically."

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A.E. Samaan

"The Goddamn human race deserves itself, and as far as I'm concerned it can have it."

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Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars."

Mistake

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Fred Allen
"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."

Committee

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Fred Allen
"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on."

Gentleman

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Fred Allen
"An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer."

Hollywood

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Fred Allen
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."

Man

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Fred Allen
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

People

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Fred Allen
"The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference."

Advertising

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Fred Allen
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."

History

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Fred Allen
"I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement."

Play

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Fred Allen
"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."

Failure

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