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Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."

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"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."

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"Says he, 'I am a handsome man, but I'm a gay deceiver'."

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"In the 1980s, there weren't a lot of role models for gay teenagers."

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"The Lord is my Shepherd and he knows I'm gay."

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"An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay."

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"Gay icons usually have some tragedy in their lives, but I've only had tragic haircuts and outfits."

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"Our intention is to really explore this transition and, beyond that, explore the particular things that someone comes up against when they're gay or lesbian."

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"How many gangsters you know, from Al Capone up to John Gotti, been gay?"

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"Homophobia is gay."

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"Part of me looks at the gay movement now and worries that we're losing our individuality."

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"It never occurred to me that I needed to say that I was gay. I simply am. Anyone who knows me or who's been around me ten minutes knows it too."

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"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself."
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"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."
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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
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"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
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"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
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"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
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"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"Life is just a bowl of pits."
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