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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved. And that perhaps, is what makes him different from others."
Writing
"Why did God give me two ears and one mouth? So that I will hear more and talk less."
God
"An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church."
God
"Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad."
Humor
"Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable."
Happiness
"Satire is focused bitterness."
Humor
"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight."
Humor
"I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe."
People
"Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined."
Courage
"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead."
Conservative
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