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"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"
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"But you know, it's not easy when your husband runs for president. I mean, it's not easy for me. I'm sure it's not easy for her. There's a lot of scrutiny on families that isn't always wanted."
"I'm not the one who was elected. I would never do anything to undermine my husband's point of view."
"My husband is a fall-away Catholic, but with a vengeance. He's actually more of a feminist than I am."
"My husband does so many romantic things for me, it's absurd."
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended."
"I figure when you get married, it doesn't matter how much you earn or how much your husband earns, just as long as everything you do for the house is together, while still reserving some part of yourself to be yourself."
"I was never a dangerous woman. I'm not the prissy blonde woman that could take your husband away."
Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
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