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George Carlin

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

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"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

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Amber Hurdle

"If God gives you something you can do, why in God's name wouldn't you do it?"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"If a man hasn't found something he will die for, he isn't fit to live."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"There is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"If you fall into the category of people who want to make a great use of their existence, you need to ask yourself these two questions; "what am I doing now"?; "Where is it taking me to?"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"God has a plan for everyone he created and none of his creations is meant to be purposeless. Every human being for that matter was brought forth with a specific and unique duty to uptake while he lives on earth."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"There is greatness in everyone. What is your purpose on the earth?Use your unique gifts and talent to influence mankind."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"With a decision and a defined purpose, you can begin work."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"God is able to give you the power to endure that which cannot be changed... Why be anxious? Come what may, God is able."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Being needed is a great thing. Maybe the great thing."

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George Carlin
"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."

Politics

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George Carlin
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

Crime

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George Carlin
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

Girls

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George Carlin
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."

Knowledge

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George Carlin
"One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like."

Deserted

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George Carlin
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."

Health

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George Carlin
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."

Listening

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George Carlin
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

Society

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George Carlin
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

Hell

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George Carlin
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

Equality

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