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George Carlin

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

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"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

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Asa Don Brown

"Nothing can squelch your fire except turning your back on the thing that fuels it."

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Asa Don Brown

"One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation-lettuce farming, say-would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged."I'm good at it, he said."

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Asa Don Brown

"The purpose of your life is to find your ultimate purpose that makes you happy. Then commit to it wholeheartedly."

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Asa Don Brown

"He saw either death or the approach of it everywhere. But his undertaking now occupied him all the more. He had to live his life to the end, until death came. Darkness covered everything for him; but precisely because of this darkness he felt that his undertaking was the only guiding thread in this darkness, and he seized it and held on to it with all his remaining strength."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is important that any value you add to yourself should be converted to tangible products that could benefit humanity."

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Asa Don Brown

"If you don't believe in virtues and principles, then you are not building your life on anything."

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Asa Don Brown

"God gave you the knowledge and ability for you to advance His Kingdom through your work."

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Asa Don Brown

"To live in purpose is to understand the moment of conception."

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Asa Don Brown

"God Had A Specific Assignment For The Earth."

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George Carlin
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
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George Carlin
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
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George Carlin
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
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George Carlin
"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time."
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George Carlin
"On school uniforms Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German."
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George Carlin
"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."
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George Carlin
"THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
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George Carlin
"Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!"
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George Carlin
"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic."
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George Carlin
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
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