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"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
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"A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was in New York and I walked into this pet store and came out with a dog."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to make the stakes high."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
Wife
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Wife
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
Opinion
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
Car
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
Wife
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
Wife
"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
Pet
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