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"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
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"I'm not about to go out and buy a snake for a pet. I mean, I may have faced a few fears but I'm not insane."
"Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
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