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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
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"Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion - it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ."
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Personal Development
"Almost every sect of Christianity is a perversion of its essence, to accommodate it to the prejudices of the world."
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Personal Development
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."
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Personal Development
"Um, what I found though about the Christian Brothers is this: that they were certainly muscular."
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Personal Development
"I know Jesus Christ died for my sins, and that's all I really need to know."
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Personal Development
"It is always open season on Christian and on white folks because they are the group you can kick and you can get away with it. It is politically correct."
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Personal Development
"Help us to recognize your voice, help us not to be allured by the madness of the world, so that we may never fall away from you, O Lord Jesus Christ."
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Personal Development
"Spreading the news is your duty as a Christian, and there are many ways to do this."
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Personal Development
"That is why, according to this newer psychology, Christianity has already fulfilled its biological mission, and it is impossible for the modern man to understand its original significance."
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Personal Development
"If a man cannot be a Christian in the place where he is, he cannot be a Christian anywhere."
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"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Humor
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Humor
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Car
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
Family
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
Woman
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Woman
"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."
Family
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
Family
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
Emotional
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
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