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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
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"What shall I do then with Jesus, which is called Christ?"
"I'm a Christian, a conservative and a Republican, in that order."
"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."
"The word "Christianity" is already a misunderstanding - in reality there has been only one Christian, and he died on the Cross."
"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it."
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."
"I'm not going to get in to an argument with anyone about the relative merits of Judaism and Christianity, and what it means for a Jewish kid to be a Christian - I'm just not interested in that argument."
"What makes you a Christian is whether or not you really are in accord with biblical theology and whether you know Jesus Christ as your Saviour."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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