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"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
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"I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned."

"Almost every sect of Christianity is a perversion of its essence, to accommodate it to the prejudices of the world."

"The Christian missionary may preach the gospel to the poor naked heathen, but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe have as yet heard nothing of Christianity."

"Christ's crucifix shall be made an excuse for executing criminals."

"So I will go as far as I can into rock and roll carrying my Christian banner."

"The Christian of the future will be a mystic or he will not exist at all."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"


"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."


"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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