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"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
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"Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated."
"We all know what Parliament is, and we are all ashamed of it."
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."
"I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."
"There shall be no end to the government of God."
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
"Which government is the best? The one that teaches us to govern ourselves."
"The ugliest government is the one which is spreading fear to its own people! The finest government is the one which encourages its own people to criticize the government harshly."
"The best government is that which teaches us to govern ourselves."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
"The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?"
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