"I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas.' She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. 'Excuse me,' she said."

Humor, Truth, Embarrassment, Life

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"I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas.' She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. 'Excuse me,' she said."

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Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich

"I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic."

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"I could help you, I said. 'Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend."

Support

"You never want to look in a mirror,' Lula said. 'Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym."

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"That's why I'm not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don't need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened."

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"On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time."

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"My father hired you to protect me,' Ahmed said, 'not to go off chasing men.' Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. 'We think this guy killed Fred.' 'Who's Fred?' 'My uncle,' I told him. 'He's married to Mabel.' 'Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing."

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