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"I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas.' She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. 'Excuse me,' she said."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."
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Personal Development
"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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Personal Development
"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
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Personal Development
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"My father hired you to protect me,' Ahmed said, 'not to go off chasing men.' Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. 'We think this guy killed Fred.' 'Who's Fred?' 'My uncle,' I told him. 'He's married to Mabel.' 'Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing."
Justice
"I wasn't sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others."
Marriage
"I like the way you've let your hair go curly,' he finally said. 'Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,'Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum."
Relationship
"Aren't you something,' Grandma said. 'I never saw a midget up close.' 'Little person,' Briggs said. 'And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either."
Humor
"Nice dress. Take it off."
Humor
"Almost everybody I know has died, Grandma said. 'Bunch of wimps."
Aging
"My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco."
Language
"There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls."
Lifestyle
"So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?''Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the owner will try to get it back."
Society
"If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office."
Life
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