"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

School,

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"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."

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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Work, Night

"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

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"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

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"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."

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"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."

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"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

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"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."

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"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"I don't know, you know all through high school I just knew I wanted to do it."

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"Then all this started to pick up because I signed with ForeFront when I was in seventh grade. It got a lot busier and I was traveling a lot and it wasn't making sense. Especially at a private school, you miss two days, and you get so behind."

Stacie Orrico, American Musician

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"It wasn't until school that we realised that we were abnormal."

Gilbert Hernandez, American Artist

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"I got kicked out of high school, so I couldn't get into very many colleges."

David Talbot, American Journalist

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"I was always in plays at school and in school concerts - you could say I liked to show off."

George Cole, British Actor

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"Give a lift to a tomato, you expect her to be nice, don't ya? After all, what kind of dames thumb rides, Sunday school teachers?"

Martin Goldsmith, American Writer

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"I didn't get lessons of any kind I slept through school."

Joel Madden, American Musician

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"He nodded toward the sub. "This is going to be a blow-off day."I dragged my mind away from magical intrigue. After being homeschooled for most of my life, some parts of the "normal" school world was a mystery. "What does that mean, exactly.""Usually teacher leave subs a lesson plan, telling them what to do. I saw Ms. Terwilliger left. It said, 'Distract them."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"My school is attended by near three hundred scholars."

Joseph Lancaster, English Educator

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