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"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
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"But even in elementary school and junior high, I was very interested in space and in the space program."
"We are already expected to be the goodie two shoes. I went through that during my junior high schools where I wasn't allowed to watch television. I wasn't allowed to listen to the radio."
"I was bookish and dorky in high school, so the best part of this movie was getting to be on the other side."
"I remember when I was in school, they would ask, 'What are you going to be when you grow up?' and then you'd have to draw a picture of it. I drew a picture of myself as a bride."
"I don't make my own schedule - it's constructed around my sons' school schedules."
"I never really considered myself attractive. I was always kind of gangly in school."
"In high school, there are so many cliques. You're never safe."
"I was born in Champaign in 1918. From the neighborhood elementary and intermediate schools, I went to the University High School in the twin city, Urbana."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
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