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Erma Bombeck

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises."

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"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises."

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Amber Hurdle

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Epic sex?" I sputtered. "By what standards, precisely, is sex judged to be epic?""And tons and tons of mortal simps like you used as pawns." Bob sighed happily, ignoring my question. "There are no words. It was like the Lord of the Rings and All My Children made a baby with the Macho Man Randy Savage and a Whac-A-Mole machine."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

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Erma Bombeck
"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

Humor

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Erma Bombeck
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

Humor

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Erma Bombeck
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."

Woman

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Erma Bombeck
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."

Woman

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Erma Bombeck
"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

Family

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Erma Bombeck
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."

Family

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Erma Bombeck
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."

Emotional

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Erma Bombeck
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."

Home

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Erma Bombeck
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."

Vacation

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