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"If Ted Williams just tip his cap once he could be elected Mayor of Boston in five minutes."
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"In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series."

"In New York, you couldn't wish for a nicer audience, or in L.A., Chicago, Boston. But when you get into secondary markets, they don't have a clue."

"2004 was a great year for Boston! The Patriots won the Super Bowl! Boston hosted its first national political convention! And - the Red Sox won the World Series!"

"For every $5 that Boston's economy sends up to Beacon Hill, the state gives only $1 back to us."

"A few years ago no hotel or restaurant in Boston refused Negro guests; now several hotels, restaurants, and especially confectionary stores, will not serve Negroes, even the best of them."

"The word survivor suggests someone who has emerged alive from a plane crash or a natural disaster. But the word can also refer to the loved ones of murder victims, and this was the sense in which it was used at a four-day conference in early June at Boston College."

"I was also the romantic lead in The Boston Strangler - I was the only one that lived to tell the story - so I called myself the romantic lead."
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