"Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries."

Mother,

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"Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

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"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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"My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material."

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Explore more quotes by Colin Mochrie

"I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine."

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"There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky."

Thought

"To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap."

Work

"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."

Famous

"Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had."

Life

"I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!"

Artist

"As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers."

Day

"Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!"

People

"We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes."

Funny

"Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy."

People