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"Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries."
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"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

"That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself."

"I have an unending desire to be better and make myself a better person, better mother."
Explore more quotes by Colin Mochrie

"As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers."

"When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage."

"There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting."

"The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs."

"My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever."

"There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky."

"You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school."
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