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Russell Baker

"The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist."

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"The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist."

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"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

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"Great is the difference betwixt a man's being frightened at, and humbled for his sins."

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"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

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"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."

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"It's like being a Knight of the Garter. It's an honor, but it doesn't hold up anything."

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Asa Don Brown

"The nobility of a human being is strictly independent of that of his convictions."

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Asa Don Brown

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

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Asa Don Brown

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

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Asa Don Brown

"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

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Russell Baker
"Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity."
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Russell Baker
"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things."
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Russell Baker
"It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic."
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Russell Baker
"You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart."
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Russell Baker
"In America nothing dies easier than tradition."
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Russell Baker
"Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."
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Russell Baker
"The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him."
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Russell Baker
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
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Russell Baker
"What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises."
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Russell Baker
"I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world."
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