top of page
Exlpore more Women quotes

"A woman's heart and a woman's dreams are malleable and can change at any moment. It is the essence of being a woman."

"A woman is soft, kind, and loving. When you are in danger, she is always ready to sacrifice herself to save you. So never forget to respect her."
Explore more quotes by Tim Allen

"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."

"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."

"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."

"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."

"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."

"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."

"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
bottom of page