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Groucho Marx

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

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"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

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Amber Hurdle

"Joy is not a substitute for sex, sex is very often a substitute for Joy. I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for Joy."

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Amber Hurdle

"Not town can live peacefully, whatever its laws," Plato wrote, "when its citizens ... do nothing but feast and drink and tire themselves out in the cares of love."But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favorite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Speed, it seems to me, provides the one genuinely modern pleasure."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pleasure, like the sparrow, never sits on any one branch too long."

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Amber Hurdle

"Passive pleasure is no pleasure at all."

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Amber Hurdle

"Tomorrow is a thief of pleasure."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let us have wine and woman mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda-water the day after."

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Amber Hurdle

"The mere brute pleasure of reading the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Chinese food arrives. Delicious saliva fills his mouth. He really hasn't had any since Texas. He loves this food that contains no disgusting proofs of slain animals, a bloody slab of cow haunch, a hen's sinewy skeleton; these ghosts have been minced and destroyed and painlessly merged with the shapes of insensate vegetables, plump green bodies that invite his appetite's innocent gusto. Candy."

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Amber Hurdle

"... I experienced, suddenly, that special pleasure, which bore no resemblance to any other..."

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Groucho Marx
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."

Man

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Groucho Marx
"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."

Mind

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Groucho Marx
"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths."

Time

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Groucho Marx
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."

Art

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Groucho Marx
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."

Play

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Groucho Marx
"Humor is reason gone mad."

Humor

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Groucho Marx
"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."

People

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Groucho Marx
"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."

Care

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Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Power

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Groucho Marx
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

People

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