top of page
.png){kind=small}
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Standard
Customized
More
"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dad made it to Gold Shield Detective, so he always busted Robin, my oldest brother, and me. Always got caught, whatever we were doing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My father, who had previously been a civil engineer, died in the great influenza epidemic of 1918."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I would ask my dad what he did, and he'd say, 'I listen to people's problems.' In some way what he did for a living is in my genes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My dad? He died when I was 19, which is a bad time for your dad to die, because there's an awful lot of things you have to resolve with your parents past your teens if you've been a difficult teenager."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'll never forget my father's response when I told him I wanted to be a lawyer. He said, 'If you do this, no man will ever want you.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"My father was often angry when I was most like him."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My father said, If you want to do acting, you have to be successful, which is a silly thing to say."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
Time
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
Boxing
"You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back."
Hate
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
Missionaries
bottom of page