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W. C. Fields

"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."

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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."

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Akiroq Brost

"Mothers are supposed to listen and, afterward, to respond with some wisdom and perspective, but these things were not my mother's strong suit."

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Akiroq Brost

"If I would be made come to earth again, I would ask for the same mother again. If made to return 100 times to earth, I would request to be born through the same mother 100 times!"

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Akiroq Brost

"You don't build a family by tearing down another one."

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Akiroq Brost

"Marriage creates one world for your child. For that alone, two old friends can try to see a peaceful world through the eyes of their angels."

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Akiroq Brost

"Could it be? Samantha Kingston? Home? On a Friday? I roll my eyes. "I don't know. Did you do a lot of acid in the sixties? Could be a flashback. "I was two years old in 1960. I came too late for the party. He leans down and pecks me on the head. I pull away out of habit. "And I'm not even going to ask how you know about acid flashbacks. "What's an acid flashback? Izzy crows. "Nothing, my dad and I say at the same time, and he smiles at me."

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Akiroq Brost

"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars."

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Akiroq Brost

"...workplace dynamics are no less complicated or unexpectedly intense than family relations, with only the added difficulty that whereas families are at least well-recognised and sanctioned loci for hysteria reminiscent of scenes from Medea, office life typically proceeds behind a mask of shallow cheerfulness, leaving workers grievously unprepared to handle the fury and sadness continually aroused by their colleagues."

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Akiroq Brost

"You will never realize how precious a baby is until she keeps you awake through the whole night."

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Akiroq Brost

"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."

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Akiroq Brost

"There is no teacher equal to mother and there's nothing more contagious than the dignity of a father."

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W. C. Fields
"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree."

Woman

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W. C. Fields
"If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind."

Prosperity

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W. C. Fields
"It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money."

Money

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W. C. Fields
"Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against."

Hell

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W. C. Fields
"I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."

Father

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W. C. Fields
"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation."

Time

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W. C. Fields
"Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."

Drink

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W. C. Fields
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

Being

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W. C. Fields
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"

Death

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W. C. Fields
"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."

Nerves

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