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Steven Wright

"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."

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"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."

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Amber Hurdle

"We like reactions - a reaction is walking out on us, a reaction is throwing tomatoes at the stage, that's a healthy psychological reaction."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't know what my path is yet. I'm just walking on it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I found it all very scary. This fairytale gets built around you - as if you've been walking through the streets and then Sydney Pollack sees you and goes, 'I'll put you in something!'"

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Amber Hurdle

"I live by a hill. I began walking it and then I began jogging it and then I began sprinting it."

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Amber Hurdle

"It finally became clear to me that they had no hopes of my ever walking again."

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Amber Hurdle

"I like walking on the edge."

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Amber Hurdle

"Call it walking meditation or a neighborhood stroll; by whatever namesuits you, rediscover the art of meandering."

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Amber Hurdle

"The F.B.I. is about nuts and bolts. It's all about witnesses and procedure and walking the streets."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was lusted after walking down the streets of New York."

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Steven Wright
"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
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Steven Wright
"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."
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Steven Wright
"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?""
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Steven Wright
"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
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Steven Wright
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety."
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Steven Wright
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
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Steven Wright
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
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Steven Wright
"I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there."
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Steven Wright
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
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Steven Wright
"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!"
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