"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

Satire, Tradition, Change, Humor, Learning

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

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"You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Satire, Truth, Power, Today, Life

"A fishing-rod was a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other."

Samuel Johnson, English Author

Satire, Fool, Fishing, Humor, Irony

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Russia, Denial, Irony, Humor

"A distinguished clergyman told me that he chose the profession of a clergyman because it afforded the most leisure for literary pursuits. I would recommend to him the profession of a governor."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Satire, Leisure, Writing, Literature, Profession

"The door of Reverend Verringer's impressive manse is opened by an elderly female with a face like a pine plank; the Reverend is unmarried, and has need of an irreproachable housekeeper. Simon is ushered into the library. It is so self-consciously the right sort of library that he has an urge to set fire to it."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Satire, Judgment, Perception, Environment, Class

"What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, America, Irony, Culture, Truth

"Pornography is a satire on human pretensions."

Angela Carter, English Novelist

Satire, Pornography

"Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Alcohol, Truth, Humor, Effect

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

Mark Twain, American Author

Satire, God, War, Americans, Geography

"What did you bring me today? Delusional mutterings with a side of crazy?"

Marissa Meyer, American Author

Satire, Absurdity, Humor, Insanity, Dialogue

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."

Creativity

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

Humor

"My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him."

Romance

"I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, 'How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree."

Poetry

"Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter."

Heartbreak

"Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Philosophy

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Exlpore more Satire quotes

"You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."

"A fishing-rod was a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other."

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"A distinguished clergyman told me that he chose the profession of a clergyman because it afforded the most leisure for literary pursuits. I would recommend to him the profession of a governor."

"What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry."

"Pornography is a satire on human pretensions."

"Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness."

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

"What did you bring me today? Delusional mutterings with a side of crazy?"

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"

"Tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!"

"Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studdedwheelchair."

"They sicken of calm who know the storm."

"My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him."

"I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, 'How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree."

"Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter."

"Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."