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"Doubt is the father of invention."
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"Daddy is trying really fugging hard to think of a not-terrifying reason why you'd wake Daddy up in the middle of the night to ask that fugging question. But no. No. Daddy does not have a match or a lighter."

"The difference between a 'man' and a 'father' is that the former shares his genes, but latter gives his life."
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."

"Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."

"Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due."

"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it."

"Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking."
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