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"They disallowed this and disallowed that, and now I can't even get my head above water!"
Now,
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"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
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"I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now."
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"So now what happens is the cameras follow me around and capture exactly what I've been doing since I was a boy. Only now we have a team of, you know, like 73 of us, and it's gone beyond that."
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"Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!"
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"Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive."

"It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?"

"Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third."

"They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately."

"Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time."

"That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody."
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