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"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
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"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
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"After all these years, I'm finally into soccer. The World Cup is on, and my band is an international group - they're all around me, cheering in the hotel bars."
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Personal Development
"Kung fu and soccer are the two things that I was most interested in as a child."
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Personal Development
"I'm a rock star because I couldn't be a soccer star."
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"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
Personal Development
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
Personal Development
"I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day."
Personal Development
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Personal Development
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."
Personal Development
"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
Personal Development
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
Personal Development
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Personal Development
"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"
Personal Development
"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."
Personal Development
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