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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
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Personal Development
"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
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Personal Development
"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
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Personal Development
"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think comedy is more my instinct and more what I'm geared towards."
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"There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with, or, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman."
Desire
"Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex."
Health
"One of the reasons God did not make a lover for Himself when He made one for Adam is because He knew that fewer people would take Him seriously once He had an ex."
Religion
"Some men do not know the father of 'their' children."
Family
"Some people aren't really light-teethed, they're merely dark-skinned."
Perception
"We seldom look up to the person, we usually look up to their persona."
Identity
"The name of a great writer is usually bigger than the title of his book. Both literally and figuratively."
Writing
"Thanks to the internet, you can provoke thoughts of those in mansions, from the uncomfortableness of your shack."
Technology
"Not everything happens for a reason, we claim that it does for a reason: to console ourselves."
Philosophy
"The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only person who someone is sleeping with does not necessarily mean that he or she loves you."
Relationship
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