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"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yes, I see the Mobile Base System really is the shoulder of the arm. The arm is right there, like a human arm. It's really funny to look at the similarities between a human arm and the Canadian robotics arm."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy."
Environment
"One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do."
Care
"People will always choose more money over more sex."
Money
"Sometimes it feels as if everything in life is just something we haul into the grave."
Life
"The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member."
Needs
"Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine."
God
"You can never become rich unless you like rich people."
People
"You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal."
Creativity
"Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure."
Power
"Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal."
Being
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