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"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."
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"I'm Mr Boring, not a party-goer at all."
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Personal Development
"Whereas Jeremy is just the opposite: always moving because he's never really thinking of anything and the kind of guy you'd worry inviting to a dinner party because he says what he thinks. He can be insulting at times but doesn't mean to be."
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Personal Development
"The party has to be much more. It has to connect in a real way with rank-and-file members and be their voice."
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Personal Development
"Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party."
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Personal Development
"The party currently is about fund-raising and occasionally blasting out ads."
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Personal Development
"Disloyalty is the secret weapon of the Tory Party."
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Personal Development
"Had he learned to draw, M. Renoir would have made a very pleasing canvas out of his 'Boating Party'."
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Personal Development
"The party of Lincoln should be reaching out to blacks, Hispanics gays and so forth and so on."
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Personal Development
"The Republican Party would be really smart to absorb as much of the Tea Party movement as possible."
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Personal Development
"The two things that matter the most to me: emotional resonance and rocket launchers. Party of Five, a brilliant show, and often made me cry uncontrollably, suffered ultimately from a lack of rocket launchers."
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"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
Exhaustion
"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."
Baseball
"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
Dating
"John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."
Control
"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."
People
"The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army."
Government
"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."
Cure
"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
Man
"Fish recognize a bad leader."
Leader
"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."
Party
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