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"Irony differentiates. Cynicism never does."
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"No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles."
"Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cynicism is a shell that's protecting this tiny, dear part in them that's still alive."
"People, generally, suck."
"Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common."
"The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has - I'm not kidding."
"Motivating people, forcing them to your will, gives you a cynical attitude toward humanity. It degrades everything it touches."
"The only activity a cynic will find contagious is yawning, that is, with other people, at other people."
"It is through experience that I have lost faith in USA law enforcement."
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