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"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
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Exlpore more Father quotes
"I am so excited to extend myself behind the scenes as a designer and to - as my father puts it - finally have a real job."
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Personal Development
"My dad says I could sing before I could talk, if that's possible. I was always humming and things like that."
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Personal Development
"My father is the jailhouse. My father is your system... I am only what you made me. I am only a reflection of you."
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Personal Development
"I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father."
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Personal Development
"The moment my doctor told me, I went silent. My mum and dad were with me, then we all went to pieces. I was saying, No, I've got my flight to Sydney in two hours. I'm getting on a plane."
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Personal Development
"My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker."
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Personal Development
"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry."
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Personal Development
"Dad bought me a toy drum one Christmas, and I eventually destroyed it. I wanted a real drum and he bought me a snare drum. Dad continued to buy me one drum after the other."
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Personal Development
"I'm just as insufferable and useless as every other dad is. The dynamic never changes, no matter what you do for a living."
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Personal Development
"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."
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Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Drink
"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."
Gay
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
Wife
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
Being
"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
Dying
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
Marriage
"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself."
Being
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
Wife
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