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"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."
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"Opposition may become sweet to a man when he has christened it persecution."

"In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary."

"A man in passion rides a horse that runs away with him."

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

"The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything."

"In the last analysis, even the best man is evil: in the last analysis, even the best woman is bad."
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"Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you."

"It's not enough to be able to lie with a straight face; anybody with enough gall to raise on a busted flush can do that. The first way to lie artistically is to tell the truth - but not all of it. The second way involves telling the truth, too, but is harder: Tell the exact truth and maybe all of it but tell it so unconvincingly that your listener is sure you are lying."

"Come Judgment Day, we may find that Mumbo Jumbo the God of the Congo was the Big Boss all along."

"Democracy can't work. Mathematicians, peasants, and animals, that's all there is-- so democracy, a theory based on the assumption that mathematicians and peasants are equal, can never work. Wisdom is not additive; its maximum is that of the wisest man in a given group."

"But, do you know, once you get used to it's rather cute. I mean, if a girl looks alright to start with, she still looks alright with her head smooth."

"There is no conclusive evidence of life after death, but there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know, so why fret about it?"
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