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"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."
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"I'm in the process of trying to find something that I could do on my own."

"I think he was trying to produce more of a... sort of a cheaper image."

"Seriously, these days I tend to shut up in terms of external analysis and DO try to let things speak for themselves, while still trying to get some depth into them."

"I don't think you can ever do your best. Doing your best is a process of trying to do your best."

"They asked me why I was wearing heels, and I said, I'm trying to hide my ass. They gave me a prosthetic behind."

"One of the things that I have learned since trying to bring in an interesting story in under 28 pages is that we already agree on great chunks of typical superhero stories."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."

"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
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