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David Letterman

"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

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"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

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"I'm in the process of trying to find something that I could do on my own."

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"I think he was trying to produce more of a... sort of a cheaper image."

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"I'm trying to get out of my own way."

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"Most of those melodies are me trying to find out what notes fit, and then hitting ones that don't fit in a very interesting way."

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"I'm just sittin here trying not to be unhappy."

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"Seriously, these days I tend to shut up in terms of external analysis and DO try to let things speak for themselves, while still trying to get some depth into them."

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"I don't think you can ever do your best. Doing your best is a process of trying to do your best."

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"They asked me why I was wearing heels, and I said, I'm trying to hide my ass. They gave me a prosthetic behind."

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"One of the things that I have learned since trying to bring in an interesting story in under 28 pages is that we already agree on great chunks of typical superhero stories."

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"One falls to the ground in trying to sit on two stools."

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David Letterman
"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."
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David Letterman
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."
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"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
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David Letterman
"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
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"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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David Letterman
"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
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David Letterman
"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
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