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"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."
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"If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."

"Power of generalizing gives men so much the superiority in mistake over the dumb animals."

"In a market economy, however, the individual has some possibility of escaping from the power of the state."

"In my experience, influence is power."

"All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours."

"Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."


"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"


"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."


"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."


"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."


"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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