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"The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them."
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"If a moneyed man had a "corny mind, a flatterer would immediately start chasing him like a hungry hen!"
"An honest government is the childish dream of the gullible men!"
"A country where women are not free has no chance ever to be something good and respectable!"
"It is better to go near the truth and be imprisoned than to stay with the wrong and roam about freely, master Galilei. In fact, getting attached to falsity is terrible slavery, and real freedom is only next to the right."
"In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
"Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ['Tolerance zero']"
"The walls, where there was room, were well decorated with calendars and posters showing bright, improbable girls with pumped-up breasts and no hips - blondes, brunettes and redheads, but always with this bust development, so that a visitor of another species might judge from the preoccupation of artist and audience that the seat of procreation lay in the mammaries. Alice Chicoy...who worked among the shining girls, was wide-hipped and sag-chested and she walked well back on her heels...She was not in the least jealous of the calendar girls and the Coca-Cola girls. She had never seen anyone like them, and she didn't think anyone ever had."
Explore more quotes by P. G. Wodehouse
"Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting."
"Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed."
"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose."
"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."
"It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought."
"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."
"One of the first lessons life teaches us is that on these occasions of back-chat between the delicately-natured, a man should retire into the offing, curl up in a ball, and imitate the prudent tactics of the opossum, which, when danger is in the air, pretends to be dead, frequently going to the length of hanging out crAape and instructing its friends to gather round and say what a pity it all is."
"It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them."
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