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P. G. Wodehouse

"You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound."

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"You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound."

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"God does not want an apartment in our house. He claims our entire home from attic to cellar."

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"Heavenly rest will be so refreshing that we will never feel that exhaustion of mind and body we so frequently experience now. I'm really looking forward to that."

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"I am the creation of love.I am the source of love.I am the beginning of love.I like to vanish in love."

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"Your subconscious mind is the universal mind with a universal consciousness."

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"Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts."
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"I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class."
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"Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous."
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"I have been studying the principles of socialism deeply of late, and I came to the conclusion that I must join the cause. It looked good to me. You work for the equal distribution of property and start in by swiping all you can and sitting on it. Ah, noble scheme! Me for it!"
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P. G. Wodehouse
"Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character."
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"What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?"
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"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."
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"What George was thinking was that the late king Herod had been unjustly blamed for a policy which had been both statesmanlike and in the interests of the public. He was blaming the mawkish sentimentality of the modern legal system which ranks the evisceration and secret burial of small boys as a crime."
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P. G. Wodehouse
"Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''What do you do about it?''I generally take a couple of cocktails."
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P. G. Wodehouse
"I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology."
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