"I was completely nuts for most of my life."

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"I was completely nuts for most of my life."

Explore more quotes by Roseanne Barr

"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."

Time, Women

"I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them."

People, Pretty

"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

Home, Work, Husband, Housewife

"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

Mom, Beer, Ego, Favorite

"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."

War, Hope, Apparel, Military

"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."

Woman, Women, Space

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."

Heart, Man

"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job."

Home, Children, Job

"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"

Anger, Time, Children, Experts

"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."

Day, End, Job, Kids

Exlpore more Life quotes

"Will a loving God send a man to hell? The answer from Jesus and His teachings of the Bible is, clearly, “Yes!” He does not send man willingly, but man condemns himself to eternal hell because . . .he refuses God's way of salvation and the hope of eternal life with Him."

Billy Graham, American Clergyman

Life, Hell, Optimism, Hope, Send

"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Personal Development

"Instead of clinging to the only Lifeboat that can save, we have tossed overboard biblical truths in the name of [compromise], living on the edge of life, like the man who rides the parameter of a hurricane, daring it to sweep him away."

Billy Graham, American Clergyman

Life, Instead, Clinging, Truth, Honesty

"There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Life, Today, Happiness, Inspirational, Truth

"There is always a path to our target, the problem is to discover it!"

Mehmet Murat ildan, Turkish Philosopher

Life, Path, Truth, Discovery

"Things past redress are now with me past care."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Life, Regret, Truth, Wisdom

"Some parts of life are lived in the shadows where the only sunlight you feel is the light you pray for."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Life, Regret, Truth, Power, Today

"Hate is hostility."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

Life, Hate, Hostility, Heart

"Money isn't the solution to your problems. It only lets you carry your unhappiness around in style."

Shannon L. Alder, American Author

Life, Money, Problems, Unhappiness, Style

"Collect memories, they are your precious property."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Life, Memories, Property, Precious