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Robert Benchley

"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."

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"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."

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"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

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"The first twenty shows at TV 23 were really a workshop."

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"I'm very fast on teaching guys. Like, when I came over here, I only had two rehearsals with the band. I wondered when I first got here... but it sure came up great."

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"You have to examine a scene on the page first. Then you get into the basics of acting: Who are you? Who are you talking to? How do you feel about that person?"

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"Joe Louis was one of my first heroes."

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"The first thing I learned was the theme from Peter Gunn."

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"The real question was, here we had this information, Bin Laden intends to strike in the United States. We knew they had struck before in 1993 at the World Trade Center in the first bombing of the trade center."

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"My first guitar, a Fender Jazz Master, I traded it in for a Les Paul Deluxe."

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"We did like 12 shows, then we did the entire Ozzfest with the first half completely booked; then we did the second half with a couple days off here and there."

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"I mean, I was first offered Princess Astra."

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Robert Benchley
"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
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"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."
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Robert Benchley
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."
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Robert Benchley
"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."
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Robert Benchley
"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."
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Robert Benchley
"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."
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Robert Benchley
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
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Robert Benchley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
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Robert Benchley
"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."
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Robert Benchley
"After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year."
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