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Robert Benchley

"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."

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"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."

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"I had deeper, more reflective songs on the first album."

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"Michael Sunday and I are the original members of the band. We first did it just for charities and benefit concerts. It was very ad-hoc, and before we knew it, we were really a band. We went through several drummers and guitarists before we were happy with the line up."

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Robert Benchley
"I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine."
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Robert Benchley
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
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Robert Benchley
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Robert Benchley
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment."
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Robert Benchley
"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
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Robert Benchley
"Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of."
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Robert Benchley
"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."
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Robert Benchley
"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
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Robert Benchley
"Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk."
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Robert Benchley
"We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born."
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