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"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
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"I was born nine months premature."
Months
"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
Military
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
Girlfriend
"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road."
Driving
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
Country
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
Information
"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."
Time
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Cause
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
Identity
"I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness."
Performance
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"The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We made air attacks on the Japanese anchorage, sinking and damaging several vessels. However, the Japanese were alerted to the fact that American carriers were nearby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Chicago's buoy was a couple of hundred yards astern of Arizona, and I was saddened to look at her."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have always had a particular antagonism for the military."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Even a pacifist should admire the military virtues."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And most of these pilots were lost during the first five flights."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Many have left their families to defend our freedom. We salute their bravery; we express our appreciation and support to their families. And we pray for their safe return."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The mission statement was ordered, and it sent the 800th MP Brigade, effective the first of July, up to Baghdad. I joined my brigade to take command at the end of June."
Author Name
Personal Development
"From the ship all things were taken out, so that the clothes which I took with me on my back I only had."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They must therefore not spoil Alexander's undertaking, especially when they were almost at the close of their toils, and were, moreover, no longer in any difficulty about provisions on their coasting cruise."
Author Name
Personal Development
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