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David Letterman

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

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"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

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Donna Grant

"After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"

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Donna Grant

"Well, I've been to Iraq twice now. I was in Baghdad in June and then north of Baghdad in November."

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Donna Grant

"I think the disarmament of Iraq is inevitable."

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Donna Grant

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."

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Donna Grant

"We know that there are various activities important to the insurgents in Iraq that are occurring in Syria."

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Donna Grant

"The U.S. couldn't even get rid of Saddam Hussein. And we all know that the EU is just a passing fad. They'll be killing each other again in less than a year. I'm sick to death of all these fascist lawsuits."

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Donna Grant

"Iraq is not occupied, but there are foreign forces on its soil, which is different."

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David Letterman
"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"

Now

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David Letterman
"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."

Experts

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David Letterman
"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."

Importance

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David Letterman
"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

Iraq

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David Letterman
"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral."

Debate

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David Letterman
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

Change

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David Letterman
"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."

Old

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David Letterman
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

God

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David Letterman
"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."

Home

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David Letterman
"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."

Apology

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