"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

Iraq, Name, Republican

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"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

Exlpore more Iraq quotes

"We know that there are various activities important to the insurgents in Iraq that are occurring in Syria."

Douglas Feith, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Iraq, News

"The U.S. couldn't even get rid of Saddam Hussein. And we all know that the EU is just a passing fad. They'll be killing each other again in less than a year. I'm sick to death of all these fascist lawsuits."

Bill Gates, American Businessman

Iraq, Death, Killing

"We are tangled in a very significant Islamic insurgency in Iraq."

Michael Scheuer, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"I think the disarmament of Iraq is inevitable."

Douglas Feith, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

Jay Leno, American Comedian

Iraq, Support, Today

"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."

Saddam Hussein, Iraqi Criminal

Iraq, President

"After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq."

Bulent Ecevit, Turkish Politician

Iraq,

"The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands."

Nick Clooney, American Politician

Iraq,

"George W. Bush and Tony Blair had to convince the world that Saddam Hussein represented an imminent threat. Tony Blair lied when he claimed that Iraq could launch a chemical or biological attack within 45 minutes."

Bianca Jagger, Nicaraguan Celebrity

Iraq, World

Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

God

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"

Health

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."

People

"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."

Body

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."

Experts

"President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?"

Hell

"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."

Time

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

People

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."

War

"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."

Fun