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"Those unexpected morality lessons provided by the trip had jolted me into some kind of action. It was time to jettison the past before the present jettisoned me. This was my first veiled attempt at recovery. Although perhaps I was just running away again. I returned to Glasgow, planning to say a final goodbye to Anne and get out of her life, but ended up drinking with buddies in the Chip Bar and never seeing her. I called her instead to say I was moving to London and told her she could have the house and everything else we owned, which wasn't much. I think she was as relieved as I was that I was leaving town for good."
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"The old days are dead and gone days. For what I did in the past I have been punished. I have been cured."

"Even if things were broken right now. Sometimes it was the cracks that let the light in."

"I mean, okay, let's say we're all going to get better. Let's just pretend we will. Fine. Where are we going to go after we get better? What are we going to do with all of our newfound healthy behaviors? Back out into the world that screwed us up and screwed us over. This does not sound promising."

"You are NOT an abuse survivor or victim. Leave your labels elsewhere because they are no longer serving you."

"There is a saying used in twelve - step programs and in most treatment centers that 'Relapse is part of recovery.' It's another dangerous slogan that is based on a myth, and it only gives people permission to relapse because that think that when they do, they are on the road to recovery."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson

"When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him."

"Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony - the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste."

"If I have a near - beer, I'm near beer. And if I'm near beer, I'm close to tequila. And if I'm close to tequila, I'm adjacent to cocaine."

"I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs. 'Listen, ' she said, not unkindly, 'up until now I would say that ninety - nine percent of all the narcotics you have taken in your life you bought from guys you didn't know, in bathrooms or on street corners, something like that. Correct?'I nodded.'Well these guys could have been selling you salt or strychnine. They didn't care. They wanted your money. I don't care about your money, and, unlike your previous suppliers, I went to college to study just the right drugs to give to people like you in order to help you get better. So, bearing all that in mind ... Take the fucking drugs!'I took the drugs."

"Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'."

"If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me."
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