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"If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch."
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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."
Personal Development

"How magical can a person be when she is blessed with infinite kindness?"

"How many homes are broken because of men and women who are unfaithful! God will not hold you guiltless! There is a day of reckoning. “Be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23 ESV). They will find you out in your own family life here in your relationship with your mate, they will find you out in the life to come."

"People are afraid of knowledge that is not yet theirs."

"Life and death is not a do-it-yourself project."

"No matter how much you exercise, no matter how many vitamins or health foods you eat, no matter how low your cholesterol, you will still die-someday. If you knew the moment and manner of your death in advance, would you order your life differently?"

"The street to my left was backed up with traffic and I watched the people waiting patiently in the cars. There was almost always a man and a women, staring straight ahead, not talking. It was, finally, for everyone, a matter of waiting. You waited and you waited- for the hospital, the doctor, the plumber, the madhouse, the jail, papa death himself. First the signal red, then the signal was green. The citizens of the world ate food and watched t.v. and worried about their jobs or lack of the same, while they waited."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."

"The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership."

"A question asked in earnest, deserves an earnest answer."

"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."

"I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is 'ho' always feminine, and 'muthafucka' always masculine, while 'bitch' can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be 'stupid'? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand."
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