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"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"
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"It is in our authority and power to stop torment and sickness and deliver people from vanity."

"All human beings wield influence-a powerful sword granted at birth. Wield your sword with care."
Explore more quotes by Harry Shearer

"Bush is a frat boy in the White House but we've had that before. But I wasn't one of those people that was threatening to leave the country. By the way none of those people have left the country. Alec Baldwin is still here."

"I went to graduate school at Harvard for one year I worked in the state legislature in Sacramento for one year. I taught school in Compton for two years."

"The last president we had was the smartest guy anyone could remember and he did the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen in the White House so go figure."

"In the year and a half I was on SNL, I never saw anybody ad lib anything. For a very good reason - the director cut according to the script. So, if you ad libbed, you'd be off mike and off camera."

"Democrats always like to brag that their guys are smarter than the opponents and Republicans always like to brag that their guys are more moral than the opponents. But if you're looking for morals in politics you're looking for bananas in the cheese department."

"I'm at a little loss in terms of my Leave It To Beaver expertise, since I never watched an episode of the show - so the cast in the pilot could have been Martians or they could have been the regular cast for all I know."

"When it moved to Friday night it disappeared, when they find another show that can do what The Simpsons does, they will be delighted to do cancel The Simpsons."

"When I did that first movie, it was the introduction to all the set-up time and the waiting time that's endemic in motion pictures, and the repetition."

"I didn't have a lot of independent film connections. It really took until the digital film revolution came along that I realized that I could do it myself."
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