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"Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip."
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"Gossip, even when it avoids the sexual, bears around it a faint flavor of the erotic."
"But if you look at teams that want to share more revenues, they're teams that don't have a lot on the table. They've long since not had any serious investment in their team."
"One who gossips usually carries boredom in one hand and bitterness in the other."
"I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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