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"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
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"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."

"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

"I'll never forget my father's response when I told him I wanted to be a lawyer. He said, 'If you do this, no man will ever want you.'"

"My Mom and Dad did it pretty good, so I know it can work. The foremost thing I would say about working with Robin and Sean is that they were devoted to this project and devoted to their characters. You can't ask for any more from talented actors like that."
Explore more quotes by Tim Allen


"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."


"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."


"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."


"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."


"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."


"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."


"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
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