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"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."
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"Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean."

"I think the end of last year when we were aware of that transition was for everyone in their own way kind of bittersweet, but it's also what the show's about, one administration ends and another begins."
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"I get a script and it's really interesting with scripts, because you never really know. It's paper and it could be great or awful. Even scripts that are good could end up not working."
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"Passing beneath the dance hall, thinking again of this book, I realized suddenly that our life had come to an end: I realized that the book I was planning was nothing more than a tomb in which to bury her - and the me which had belonged to her. That was some time ago, and ever since I have been trying to write it. Why is it so difficult? Why? Because the idea of an "end" is intolerable to me."

"Here I am at the end of the road and at the top of the heap."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley


"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."


"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."


"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."


"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."


"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."


"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."


"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."


"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."


"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
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