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Robert Benchley

"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."

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"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."

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Asa Don Brown

"Unhappiness in a child accumulates because he sees no end to the dark tunnel. The thirteen weeks of a term might just as well be thirteen years."

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"In a revolution, as in a novel, the most difficult part to invent is the end."

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"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."

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"You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh."

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"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion."

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Asa Don Brown

"You can't copy anybody and end with anything. If you copy, it means you're working without any real feeling."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm the end of the line; absurd and appalling as it may seem, serious New York theater has died in my lifetime."

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Asa Don Brown

"Just what you want to be, you will be in the end."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm going to fight until the end. My husband is worth it. He wanted me to have it. He was worth a lot. He was a very, very wealthy man."

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Asa Don Brown

"Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end."

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Robert Benchley
"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."
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"I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine."
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Robert Benchley
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
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Robert Benchley
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
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"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."
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Robert Benchley
"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."
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Robert Benchley
"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."
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Robert Benchley
"The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps."
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Robert Benchley
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Robert Benchley
"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
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