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"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."
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"Unhappiness in a child accumulates because he sees no end to the dark tunnel. The thirteen weeks of a term might just as well be thirteen years."

"In a revolution, as in a novel, the most difficult part to invent is the end."

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."

"You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh."

"You can't copy anybody and end with anything. If you copy, it means you're working without any real feeling."

"I'm the end of the line; absurd and appalling as it may seem, serious New York theater has died in my lifetime."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley

"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."

"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."

"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."

"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."

"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."

"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
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