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P. J. O'Rourke

"My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless."

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"My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless."

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Akiroq Brost

"But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right. But I soon figured out that three left turns do."

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Akiroq Brost

"That great Cathedral space which was childhood."

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Akiroq Brost

"Here is the real domino theory - gay man to gay man, bisexual man to straight woman, addict mother to newborn baby, they all fall down and someday it will come to you."

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Akiroq Brost

"Mrs. Binnie says we throw out more with a spoon than the men can be bringing in with a shovel...Binnie-like. Our men like the good living. And what if we don't be having too much money, Patsy dear? Sure and we do have lashings of things no money could be buying. There'll be enough squeezed out for Cuddles when the time comes. The Good Man Above will be seeing to that."

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Akiroq Brost

"Parents are always more knowledgeable than their children, and children are always smarter than their parents."

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Akiroq Brost

"A new universe is born whenever a new baby is born."

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Akiroq Brost

"I've met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited toschool for Career Day."

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Akiroq Brost

"Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street."

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Akiroq Brost

"Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted."

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Akiroq Brost

"A father gives his child nothing better than a good education."

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"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block, one-room design with a door and a window, arranged one-up, one-down, often with a shop with nothing in it on the first floor, and then a one-room apartment above it. There's street after street after street of that stuff."
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"I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Never fight an inanimate object."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows."
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