"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."

Humor, Confusion, Cows, Today

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"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

Sara Sheridan, Scottish Author

Humor, Writing, Family, Books

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

Shannon A. Thompson, American Author

Humor, Perception, Confusion, Identity, Awareness

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

Berkeley Breathed, American Cartoonist

Humor, Negative, Books, Children

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Anger, Truth, Expression

Explore more quotes by Bob Newhart

"I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it."

Work

"Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story."

Work

"I've been a very lucky actor."

Actor

"I'm very open to the up-and-comers."

Open

"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."

Laughter

"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."

Marriage

"I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun."

Success

"The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors."

Discipline

"Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there."

Attention

"It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it."

Work