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P. J. O'Rourke

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

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"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

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Amber Hurdle

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

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"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

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"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

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"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

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"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

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"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

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Amber Hurdle

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

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P. J. O'Rourke
"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Never fight an inanimate object."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380 SL convertible."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
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