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"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
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Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
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Personal Development
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
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Personal Development
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Personal Development
"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
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Personal Development
"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
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Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Personal Development
"I have a need to make these sorts of connections literal sometimes, and a vehicle often helps to do that. I have a relationship to car culture. It isn't really about loving cars. It's sort of about needing them."
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Personal Development
"I remember things that happened sixty years ago, but if you ask me where I left my car keys five minutes ago, that's sometimes a problem."
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Personal Development
"I am so sick of reading about another car bomb, another suicide bomber, another 10, 20, 30, 70, 100 people dead in a day, both Americans and Iraqis."
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"In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America."
Society
"Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them."
Happiness
"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."
Maturity
"Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned."
Sociology
"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
Technology
"I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements."
Experience
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
Observation
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
Politics
"My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny."
Family
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
Parenting
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