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"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."
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Personal Development

"At this very moment I'm behind on a compilation that Slave Labor is doing for Free Comic Book Day."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."
Author Name
Personal Development

"In designing hardware to be used every day, it was important to keep both the human aspects and the machine in mind. What looks good also often feels good."
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Personal Development

"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."
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Personal Development

"We're trying to have the band create something beautiful that hopefully one day, 20 years from now, can be picked up by a kid and hopefully have the same effect that Neil Young had on me, or Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath."
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Personal Development

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
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Personal Development

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
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Personal Development

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
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Personal Development

"Today everyone is a star - they're all billed as 'starring' or 'also starring'. In my day, we earned that recognition."
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Personal Development
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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
Birthday

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship

"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time

"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now

"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car

"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People

"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
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