"The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me."

Day,

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"The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me."

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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Day,

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Day, Newspapers

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Day,

"The statements of four witnesses of unquestioned integrity, traveling with me that day, attest that such comments were never made and confirm that it simply did not happen."

Paul Crouch, American Clergyman

Day, Integrity, Traveling

"I try to be the best man I can for the day."

James Caviezel, American Actor

Day, Man

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Day, Man, Night, Self

"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."

Ernest Borgnine, American Actor

Day, Navy

"I play piano every day."

Sarah McLachlan, Canadian Musician

Day, Play

"Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day, and through space heaven knows how fast and far!"

John Muir, American Environmentalist

Day, Heaven, Space, Sun

"The most I've smoked in a day was over an ounce, in Germany."

Method Man, American Musician

Day, Germany

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

Science

"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"

Baby

"George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk."

Talk

"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."

Walking

"How young can you die of old age?"

Age

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Exlpore more Day quotes

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

"The statements of four witnesses of unquestioned integrity, traveling with me that day, attest that such comments were never made and confirm that it simply did not happen."

"I try to be the best man I can for the day."

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."

"I play piano every day."

"Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day, and through space heaven knows how fast and far!"

"The most I've smoked in a day was over an ounce, in Germany."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"

"George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk."

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."

"I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add."

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

"I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."

"How young can you die of old age?"