"Just because I publish pornography does not mean that I am not concerned about the social ills that all of us are."

"I may be paralyzed from the waist down, but unlike Gray Davis, I'm not paralyzed from the neck up."

"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation."

"The only question to ask yourself is, how much are you willing to sacrifice to achieve this success?"

"Any time there's a scandal, we always try and get involved."

"Religion has caused more harm than any other idea since the beginning of time. There's nothing good I can say about it. People use it as a crutch."

"These days... it's all vanilla sex for me."

"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."

"The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and friendship. A true friend would die for you, so when you start trying to count them on one hand, you don't need any fingers."