"Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational - but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?"

"Love is the same as like except you feel sexier."

"You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned."

"Close friends contribute to our personal growth. They also contribute to our personal pleasure, making the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer, the laughter ring louder because they are there."

"Lust is what keeps you wanting to do it even when you have no desire to be with each other. Love is what makes you want to be with each other even when you have no desire to do it."

"We will have to give up the hope that, if we try hard, we somehow will always do right by our children. The connection is imperfect. We will sometimes do wrong."

"One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again."

"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."

"Because we believe ourselves to be better parents than our parents, we expect to produce better children than they produced."

"When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead."